Self-Talk; The Mental Map to Success
How do you talk to yourself? A bizarre question, but bear with me as I explain my self-conversation strategy... don't call the men in the white coats just yet... I have a method to my madness! I am referring to your internal dialogue; your self-talk. One's internal dialogue has a profound impact on his/her future, because it inevitably reflects in his/her demeanor, goals, beliefs, and eventually overall success in life. Let me explain further...
Many have the dialogue, "Man I wish I could afford/do/have, but...." or the more crippling "There is NO WAY I can, because..." or worse yet, the equivalent of waving the white flag in life, "It must be nice...". This internal trash talk is essentially self-sabotage and feeds the unfortunate widespread mentality of, "If you have to ask how much it costs, you can't afford it"...which is utter nonsense. Just ASK, and then figure out how to get it!
"How?" is such a powerful question and position. "How" bypasses limiting feasibility talk (ex. "is this possible?"), silences the doubt (ex. "is this possible for me?"), and instead channels the mental energy to figure out the solution to the puzzle (ex. "HOW can I make this possible for me?!").
Don't get me wrong, sometimes things don't work out. Regardless, the brainstorming engaged in the process may lead you to a different conclusion or goal. Not to mention the mental exercise itself may further develop your problem-solving skill for the next (potentially more valuable) life puzzle or unveil the answer to a problem that maybe you haven't been able to solve yet.
People that approach life this way are leaps and bounds happier, feel more empowered, and are likely more successful simply because of their internal dialogue and the questions they ask themselves. This may sound crazy (and further justification for my "appointment" with the nice lab coat guys) but once you start thinking that way, good things just seem to happen to help you along the way.
You can stop reading here, and hopefully, I've warded off my impending stay at the insane asylum....but if you're curious about the background of my revelation (or if you're still questioning my sanity) keep scrolling ;-)
I started thinking this way when my family and I evacuated from Jordan to the US to live with my grandparents and escape the impending first Gulf War (August 28, 1990, two days after my 13th birthday and 27 days after Saddam invaded Kuwait). Our itinerary had us saddled with an overnight layover in chaotic JFK airport. We emerged from the baggage claim in the middle of the night looking pretty haggard from the long flight not to mention scared and stressed from the displacement and uncertain future. All those feelings melted away as I trudged to get to the awaiting shuttle and saw the most beautiful car I had ever laid eyes on stopped to let me cross. It was as a BMW (3 series) red, shiny, spotless, I literally just stood there in the middle of the crosswalk and stared at it. I had never seen something so gorgeous and that so beautifully embodied my new interpretation of success.
It represented the new life I wanted, and the better life I needed to figure out how to get "I...I want THAT!" To put it bluntly, I was sick of being poor and needed to figure out a way to climb out of the financial, intellectual, and social hole I found myself in as I enrolled in my new school.
Once settled in Ashland, I started building my imaginary future by cutting pictures out of magazines of everything I aspired to be in my life (cars, watches, houses and more). For the tangible goals, I tried to guess and calculate how much I'd need to save to buy them. The numbers were way out of my league, especially since my employment consisted of shoveling snow for our two elderly neighbors (3-4$ a driveway), regardless I was undeterred. I needed to know the numbers for future reference. Many times I'd fall asleep with my trusty calculator, it was my dream maker, it broke down the massive lump sum costs to smaller more palatable (compoundable!) figures, and hence my obsession with numbers began.
I scraped and clawed to graduate and get accepted to THE Ohio State University and eventually The Fisher College of Business, truly an answered prayer! My business advisor had a stack of bright yellow sheets with the list of classes required for each major AND the anticipated annual salary upon graduation. I sifted through them and quickly figured out what I was majoring in (let's just say projected income was a major factor). During college the "how" kicked in full force, my advisor told me I needed 196 credits to graduate so I went back to my dorm room in Halloran Hall and devised a plan to knock out those credits as quickly as possible with a respectable GPA that would keep my dad's wrath at bay! A little over three years and exactly 196 credits later, I graduated from OSU with my double major much to the utter shock and surprise of my family (especially my mom, "There is no way you're done!". Me: "Yeah mom, I'm graduating next month!") Alas! I completed my (formal) education and was finally free to create the world I've visualized, planned, and calculated years earlier!
This mindset has served me well in many aspects of my personal life and career. I'm blessed to have materialized many of the goals I've visualized and planned, and helped others do the same. Addressing any problem by rolling up the sleeves and starting with "Ok, let's figure out how to make this happen" sets such a determined tone and sparks positive momentum.
Once someone feels the mental potential of "how" life becomes so much more exciting and limitless.
Anything and everything can be accomplished if you believe and ask the right question, "HOW".
"Go as far as you can see, and you will see further" -Zig Ziglar