Fighting to win the dream game
On the surface, it might look like I’m just another success.
But behind the awards, career, and family, there is a story of hardship and grit.
My childhood was a lot different than most.
I was born in Kuwait in the Middle East to a Palestinian dad and an American mom.
In 1983 a truck bomb exploded as one of six coordinated terrorist bombings. There were explosions all over the city. I was in a school nearby one of them. I remember the explosion, the big plume of smoke, shattered glass, and the unreal panic that followed. That is the first memory I have growing up.
I was six years old.
We moved to Jordan, but the troubles followed us. My family ended up trapped in the chaos before the first Gulf War, rationing food and water and learning about what to do if there was a chemical attack or scud missile strike.
I was right in the middle of the violence - it wasn’t just a news blip to me.
Eventually, the US Embassy told my American mother that she, my brother, and I needed to leave for the States or else they couldn’t guarantee our safety.
But my dad wasn’t a US citizen.
My parents had to make the gut-wrenching decision for him to stay behind while the rest of us fled to safety.
We packed as much as we could and headed to the airport clutching our American passports.
It was utter chaos. Amid the army vehicles and soldiers, there were unrestrained emotions as families were getting broken up, including mine. In the middle of all of this, my dad took me aside and handed me a picture of himself, and said,
"Laith, I don't want you to forget me, and just know that I love you. You're now the man of the family and you're in charge of taking care of them. Always take care of your family."
That was two days after my 13th birthday.
Becoming “the man” and protector of the family made me grow up very quickly.
My childhood ended that day. I suddenly had new responsibilities and priorities I needed to quickly grow into.
We moved from a war zone to Ashland, OH.
The culture shock I experienced was incredible.
We were the only Arab-American kids in school, and on top of being poor, you can only imagine the bullying.
I was constantly made to feel like I wasn’t good enough.
Kids would blame me for their dads being sent to the Gulf War.
And I’ll never forget the moment when one kid at school looked me up and down and declared in front of everyone “My underwear costs more than your whole outfit.”
I may have been young, but words like that cut deep and stay there.
To this day that memory still stings.
It wasn’t a good situation for us.
We struggled to make ends meet and for a while had to sleep on old mattresses in my grandparent’s basement.
To distract us from our miserable reality, my mom created a game to help us imagine our future. We would come up with absolutely crazy dreams and whoever had the craziest idea won the game that day. We started with simple goals that seemed outlandish to us, goals such as “I don’t want to live in a basement, I want to own a house.”
To help us dream bigger, our mom would take my brother and me out for a drive in the affluent neighborhood in town and we would pick our future homes.
I even drew the layout of my house (complete with a martial arts dojo!) and handpicked the exotic cars lining up the winding driveway.
Sure, they were impossible dreams at the time, but they helped motivate my brother and me to create a future outside of poverty.
As a teenager, I turned the Dream Game into a dream book (before vision boards were so popular). I would cut out collages and flip through the pages before bed almost every night.
I desperately wanted to lose myself in that world.
I challenged myself to bring it to life.
When i was accepted to The Ohio state university…
I was ecstatic to be a Buckeye.
This was my chance to recreate myself and prove all of my bullies and haters wrong.
I worked multiple jobs, studied, worked more, and rowed crew for OSU. I didn’t have time for partying - I literally couldn’t afford it! My father’s words when I was 13 were always pulling me back to work. I had to become successful to be able to take care of my family.
One day I was studying with my friend when we started talking about our plans for the weekend which mine consisted of more work and studying. Surprised, she said “Slow down! This is your chance to smell the roses!”
I replied with hardened determination,
“I don’t have any roses to smell. I’m ready to graduate and make them.”
I finished college in 3.5 years with a double major, $5000 in my bank account, and no student debt.
Finally, I was out of the gates and on a mission to pull myself out of my misery.
I started my professional life with my dream book still in hand, focused and determined.
After all of my struggle and success, I am proud to have been recognized and selected by Ohio State to receive the prestigious Pace Setters Executive Award in 2019.
I was finally free to create the world I visualized, planned, and calculated years earlier.
I started straight out of college with a job overseas (and got to see my dad again), worked in The World Trade Center in New York City, and settled in the MidWest.
To keep me motivated, I hung the pages of my dream book up in my bathroom so I could look at them while I brushed my teeth every morning (I still do this). Those wild dreams pushed me to continue my education, to never stop learning, to never stop working towards my goals.
So many people told me that I couldn’t make it.
That only galvanized my resolve. I have been told that my name was different and that it would hold me back in my career.
Undeterred, I went on to earn numerous awards in my field and progressed to become a Managing Director at my firm. In 2019 I was awarded the Executive Pace Setters Award, granted to only one out of 80,000 living alumni of the Fisher College of Business at OSU. I believe, with every fiber of my being, that you never let anyone convince you that “you can’t,” especially if they justify it because you’re different.
You always can.
With your dreams as your North Star, you can pull yourself forward and prove them all wrong.
I’m still achieving my goals.
Yes, I’ve come a long way from those days in a basement in Ashland, but I’m not done, I’m committed to strive for more.
I’m not ready to stop and smell the roses quite yet. Because the more success I can achieve, the more I can give back. This is my purpose, my why.
I’m convinced that once you declare yourself a ‘success’ it’s too tempting to stop trying, but life has taught me that at any point the world can flip on its head.
It’s wonderful that I’m now in a position to make roses for other people and help them win at the Dream Game. I went back to OSU to mentor and teach students in the Honors Cohort program. I put a lot of my energy into the Career Closet, a program that dresses students up for their interviews at no cost to them. I never want another person to feel the way I did when I was made fun of my humble clothes.
Even the smallest change can have major ripple effects.
I know what being bullied, being told you can’t make it because you have a funny name, or that you don’t ‘look’ like the right fit for the job - I know what all of that feels like. It hurts.
I’m going to keep working to make roses for myself and others, so when the world does flip people have more of a cushion to fall back on.
Playing at dreaming big with my mom was my trajectory change. It inspired a dream book that pushed me through so many hard times.
That little shift had a lasting impact.
If I can make little shifts for more people, imagine the possibilities in this world!
Motivation can’t be the only thing that keeps you going.
Achieving goals is hard – it takes a lot of grit, drive, and dreaming even when the worst is dropped in your lap. I couldn’t have reached all of my goals alone.
I made sure to surround myself with people who inspired me, pushed me to do more, and challenged and supported me in my dreams.
You don’t have to do this hard work alone.
Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps is difficult without a community cheering you on.
Putting the right people on your team will give you the support you need when the going gets tough. My brother now works for Google and my mom went back to college to get her degree later in life. We made it so far from that basement in Ashland, OH. I still call my mom every morning on my way to work to play with ideas and keep each other dreaming big.
The Adversity Advantage
Over the years I’ve created a system that pushed me forward, even when adversity sat like a 100-ton brick on my doorstep.
The Adversity Advantage keeps me focused, supported, and always fighting to win the Dream Game.
If you want to bring your team, company, or conference to the Adversity Advantage System, I have years of speaking experience.
Past speaking engagements have included Nationwide Insurance, The Better Business Bureau, and The Ohio State University.
.01
Determine your Goals
Where do you want to go?
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Lay out your Plan
How are you going to get there, and what kind of habits do we need to adopt?
.03
Fill up your Bus
Who do you surround yourself with? Who do you choose to spend the most time with? What kind of personal culture do you purposefully cultivate.
.04
Choose your Board
Your own personal board of trusted advisors, those who you want deeper levels of feedback and expertise to complement your own.
BRING THE ADVERSITY ADVANTAGE SYSTEM TO YOUR SPACE
